Forgiveness After Divorce
It’s understandable for a person to feel angry after a divorce. After all, you devoted your life to someone. You thought your marriage would last forever, but it didn’t. You feel disappointed and angry.
You may feel bitter about what happened, especially if there was infidelity, abuse, or some other major issue involved. That’s why forgiveness is essential.
People often have the wrong idea about forgiveness. They often think it means that you forget what your spouse did to you. They think that if you forgive someone, you condone their actions. If you forgive your spouse, does that mean you need to reconcile with them?
Forgiveness and agreement are not the same thing. You may not agree with your spouse’s actions, but you can still forgive. Forgiveness can be very beneficial, as it allows you to stop thinking negative thoughts about your ex so you can move on. Forgive your ex today by following these steps.
Know That Forgiveness is for You
When you choose to forgive someone, the purpose is to find peace with yourself. It’s not for the other person, no matter how much they may want you to forgive them. Find ways to soothe your hurt feelings. Many people find it cathartic to write down their feelings.
Don’t Deny Your Feelings
You’re probably hurt or angry about the divorce, but you need to own these feelings. Don’t deny them, as that will keep you from making progress. You need to learn from the past so you can avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t control what happened in the past. You can, however, make better choices for the future, so focus on that. You can make the choice to let go of the negativity and hurt feelings and move forward.
This doesn’t mean condoning your ex’s actions. Rather, just be more realistic about how people behave. Nobody is perfect and most people behave and make decisions with their best interests in mind. Try to be more empathetic about your ex’s actions. Look at things from their point of view. This will help you deal with your negative feelings.
Stop Being a Victim
Yes, it hurts when someone doesn’t respect you or abuses you in some way. However, dwelling on someone’s actions toward you will only keep you stuck in the past. Stop blaming others and move forward. After all, you’re not perfect either and you might have said or done things that hurt your ex as well. Take charge and move forward.
Seek Legal Help
Many people struggle with forgiving their ex-spouse, especially if they had a particularly tumultuous marriage. Forgiveness does not excuse your ex’s actions and can help you move on after a divorce. It’s a critical part of recovery.
If you are going through a stressful divorce, seek legal help from Fort Lauderdale divorce attorney Edward J. Jennings, P.A. He can give you advice for moving on after a divorce. To schedule a consultation, call 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form.