Growing Apart, Communication Issues Major Causes Of Divorce
When you think of common reasons for divorce, cheating, abuse, and money matters may be the first ones that come to mind. However, the two biggest reasons for divorce are actually not being able to talk together and growing apart. What do these two reasons really mean?
The Journal of Divorce & Remarriage polled 886 divorcing parents. Among those, 55% divorced because they and their spouse grew apart. That’s actually not a surprise. In today’s world, with so much technology, as well as work and other obligations, it’s easy to get too busy to focus on your marriage. When your marriage doesn’t feel like it once did, it means you are growing apart.
Growing apart can happen in many ways. People experience life in different ways. They gain new experience and see life differently. When they don’t grow together, they grow apart.
Those who are married may see their goals change. They may take up their own interests. Soon, they start doing everything by themselves and there is no longer any reason for them to be married.
Growing apart is not something that happens overnight. It’s a gradual process that may happen over several years. By the time you realize something is wrong, though, it’s too late. You can’t save your marriage because by then, there is nothing left to save.
Not Able to Talk Together
In the same poll, 53% claimed they divorced because they could no longer talk together. Communication is a common problem in relationships. It can be hard for couples to discuss topics effectively and share their feelings. Many couples cannot talk to each other without starting an argument.
However, married couples should be able to communicate with ease. They should not have to struggle to get their point across. But communication is hard for many couples. There are times when a person may feel defensive. They may not be listening. They may be tuned out of the conversation. The other person does not feel heard. This can lead to arguments and eventually, the silent treatment. The cycle continues until the couple simply stops talking to each other altogether. They may even avoid each other so they don’t have to engage in any sort of communication. It becomes a tense living situation.
A lack of communication often stems from a lack of interest. When the parties are more comfortable talking to friends and other family members rather than their own spouse, then the marriage is in trouble.
Seek Legal Help
In a marriage, it’s always helpful when couples communicate well and have the same goals. While having some differences can be good, having too many can cause those in a marriage to live their own lives, apart from their partner.