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How To Cope With Seeing Your Ex-Spouse


After a messy divorce, it would be nice if you never had to see your ex ever again. Unfortunately, that type of situation is rare unless you don’t have kids and can move away. In many cases, ex-spouses do have to communicate with each other for a certain period of time.

Seeing your ex after a divorce can be emotional though. It can be painful, especially if the split was not amicable. So what do you do and how can you deal?

You may have to continue seeing your ex for many reasons. Maybe you have kids and are sharing custody. Perhaps you work together. Maybe you have the same mutual friends. Perhaps your ex is still living with you for the time being.

These situations can make a divorce frustrating. Seeing your ex during or after a divorce may activate the part of the brain associated with motivation, reward, and addiction. However, you need to be respectful and mature about the situation. Here are some things you can do to cope.

Take Time to Grieve

The end of a marriage can almost feel like a death. It’s normal to feel sad and even angry. You need to be able to process your emotions and it won’t happen overnight. Give yourself time to mourn your marriage and your ex.

Set Boundaries

You may need to limit how much you see of your ex in order to move on. This may mean not using social media or avoiding certain places. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries.

Get Some Distance

If you don’t have kids together, then it may be in your best interest to put some distance between you and your ex. Move somewhere else. Get a new job. These aren’t easy things to do, but a fresh start could be healthy for you.

Be Civil

When you do see your ex, don’t get caught up in emotions. Don’t yell at them or badmouth them. Instead, be polite and civil. That will go a long way toward getting over the feelings you have toward your ex.

Get Support

You should have a support system in place during and after a divorce. Close friends and family members can help you through the process and provide a shoulder to cry on. You can also hire a therapist to help you deal with your emotions.

Focus On Yourself

Don’t waste your time and energy on your ex. Instead, focus on yourself. Learn a new skill. Take a class. Travel to that place where you’ve always wanted to go. A divorce is all about growth.

Seek Legal Help

Seeing an ex-spouse can bring about many feelings. You have a history together and you might even still love each other. Still, you need to keep your cool and move on.

A Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can help you deal with the various emotions you may feel during and after a divorce. Schedule a consultation by calling 954-764-4330 or filling out the online form.



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