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How To Get Your Marriage Out Of A Rut


Being in a new relationship can be fun and exciting. You’re learning new things about your partner and it can be comforting to have companionship who shares your interests and goals. Even those who are just married and still in the honeymoon phase are enjoying their partner.

However, these feelings of euphoria don’t last forever. Life happens. Couples have kids, get new jobs, start new hobbies, and make new friends. These situations all take time away from the marriage. When a married couple doesn’t take time to focus on their marriage, it can cause the relationship to get into a rut. If the couple doesn’t remedy the situation, it can lead to divorce.

What is a Rut?

So what exactly does it mean when your marriage is in a rut? It means your relationship is stagnant. It’s not moving in the right direction. You feel stuck. You’re bored or disconnected from your partner. You have a physical or emotional connection with your spouse.

Ruts are usually caused by communication issues. One person feels disappointment with the other, and instead of expressing their feelings, they shut down. When the issue is not addressed, the marriage sees increased negativity.

Actions to Take

Save your marriage before it’s too late. Here are some steps to get out of your rut:

  • Focus on what you want. Take the necessary steps to get what you want out of the marriage. What could be improved? While it’s easy to blame the other person, you need to focus on the role you play in the relationship and take responsibility.
  • Find ways to improve the marriage. You and your spouse need to brainstorm and find ways to make improvements. Perhaps one of you could communicate better. Maybe you need to start putting your partner’s needs before your own. Perhaps your spouse needs to be more spontaneous. Think of things that can be done to get the marriage where it needs to be.
  • Identify external factors. There are often outside influences that cause communication issues. Is your partner stressed out about work? Perhaps there are health or family problems that are causing stress in the marriage. Identify the factors that might be at play and think about how to improve upon them.
  • Think positive. Sometimes shifting your perspective can help a great deal. Think about your spouse’s good qualities. What do you love about them? What are you grateful for? 

Seek Legal Help 

While it is possible to get your marriage out of a rut, it takes a lot of work. Both parties need to make an effort. When one person is doing all the work to save a marriage, it causes bitterness, resentment, and eventually, divorce.

If you’re ready to end your marriage, Fort Lauderdale divorce attorney Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can help. We are dedicated to helping you get the best outcome possible. Schedule a consultation by calling 954-764-4330 or filling out the online form.

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