How to Make Your Second Marriage Successful

After a divorce, you may be willing to try your hand at a second marriage. Statistics show that roughly half of those who divorce will eventually remarry.

You may crave a real love connection, but the odds are against you. Roughly 50% of first marriages end in divorce. This number rises to 67% for second marriages.

Everyone comes into a second marriage with baggage. The trick to making your marriage work is knowing how to communicate. Here are some rules to follow.

Communicate Effectively

Listen to your partner’s requests and ask for clarification if needed. Avoid “you” statements. Instead, use “I” statements to avoid blame, such as “I felt hurt when you (insert action).

Avoid Criticism

Criticism is damaging to a marriage. Be careful of what you say to your spouse. Be respectful and avoid negativity. Ask for what you want in a nice, positive way.

Avoid Attacks

When talking or discussing an issue with your spouse, stay focused on the issues at hand. Never attack your partner personally. Avoid name-calling and yelling. Stay calm and avoid anger.

Be Forgiving

Nobody is perfect. You need to accept that you, your spouse, and everyone else has flaws. Don’t hold grudges. Learn to be forgiving. Keep in mind that forgiveness is not the same as condoning the hurt done to you. Instead, it allows you to move on.

Embrace Being a Stepparent 

In second marriages, stepchildren are common. This means you will need to be a stepparent, which can be a frustrating role. But instead of feeling upset and overwhelmed, step up and be a friend, mentor, and supporter. Do some research and learn new strategies to gain the respect of your stepchildren. Put some effort into being a parental figure or the stepchildren will have difficulty bonding with you. The children will appreciate it.

Build a Bond

Show that you care about your partner and you think they are important. Increase physical affection. Even if you’re not a touchy-feely person, a hug, kiss, or quick cuddle can go a long way.  Find activities that bring you both pleasure. Some couples take classes or go to events together. Show interest in your partner’s hobbies even if you don’t share them. Remind yourself of your partner’s positive qualities and express your positive feelings to them daily.

Prepare for Conflict

All couples fight from time to time. It’s normal. Know that conflict does not mean the end of your marriage. It’s not handling the conflict that leads to divorce. In fact, almost 70% of problems in a marriage go unresolved. Don’t ignore issues in a marriage. Learn how to manage conflict successfully. Take a short break if you are feeling overwhelmed.

Seek Legal Help

When your first marriage ends, you may be concerned about a second marriage. Statistics show a higher failure rate, but you can do your part to avoid this.

Whether you are contemplating a first, second, or subsequent divorce, seek legal help from Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. See how we can help in your unique situation. We will guide you through the process with ease. To schedule a consultation, call 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form.

Source:

gottman.com/blog/10-rules-successful-second-marriage/