Should You Stay Friends With Your Ex After Divorce?

After a divorce, you may wonder if and how you should continue a relationship with your spouse. Although you probably don’t want to be romantically involved with them again (although many couples do remarry each other after a divorce), should you still be friends? Or should you sever ties altogether?

There is not a one-size-fits-all approach as to how you should deal with your ex after a divorce. This will depend on the situation as well as the personalities of both parties. Some parties may decide to build strong friendships after a divorce, especially if there are children involved and they are co-parenting. However, if there is abuse, addiction, or narcissism involved, it may be a good idea to completely sever ties with your ex post-divorce.

If you want to take the high road and try to be cordial and even friendly, it is very much possible. The prognosis for building a friendship is positive and hopeful if there is no resentment or personality issues. Many ex-spouses can create a healthy friendship after divorce, but it won’t be easy. It’s something that takes a lot of time, patience, and forgiveness. Also, both parties will have to work on it.

Researchers have studied friendships of exes after divorce, focusing on hostility, attachment, and friendship in the marital bond. Those who score higher on healthy attachment and friendship domains will typically be better able to grow a healthy, supportive friendship with their ex after divorce. Conversely, those scoring higher in negative preoccupation and hostility may be unsuited for ongoing friendship.

Why Bad Marriages Can Be Good Friendships

Divorce is usually not considered a happy event but divorce releases partners from the pain of marital conflicts, which may include topics such as resentment, unmet emotional needs, infidelity, infertility, or sexual frustration. After a divorce, these topics are no longer relevant, so the two exes can adjust and begin relating to each other at a friendship level.

Many spouses don’t do a good job of meeting each other’s needs and expectations in the realm of marriage. But once the pressure of marriage is removed, the two parties can share the many things they have in common. If the exes still truly respect one another, they now have the freedom to be friends after a divorce.

When Bad Marriages Can Mean Bad Friendships

Sometimes friendships are not possible after a divorce. Narcissism, addiction, or abuse in a marriage could make continued contact unsafe. If a marriage ends because of these factors and there are no children involved, it’s best to just sever contact permanently.

If there are children, things get complicated. The best option is to work out a clear parenting plan with an attorney that requires minimal ongoing personal interaction between the parents.

 Seek Legal Help

Should you continue a relationship with your ex after a divorce? If so, what is the best way to go about it?

Stay friends? Sever all ties? Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can help you understand the next steps. Call 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form to schedule a consultation today.

Source:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/walking-in-wisdom/202505/pursuing-friendship-after-divorce