Supporting a Friend During Divorce

As a good friend, you want to help and support your friends during their times of sadness and tragedy. However, when a friend is going through a divorce, you may not know what to say or do. It can be an awkward time.

Unfortunately, there’s not a universal script that we can use. So how do you support a friend who is going through a divorce without making things worse? Here’s what you can do beyond saying “I’m sorry.”

Don’t Make Assumptions

Most people assume that a divorce is a tragedy. While nobody gets married hoping to get divorced at some point, it does happen and sometimes it’s a good thing. While it’s OK to say you’re sorry, don’t go overboard with the pity. Their life is not over. In fact, they may be excited about the divorce, so allow them to lead the conversation.

Ask (Some) Questions

Don’t be nosy, but it’s OK to ask your friend some questions. For example, how are they feeling? Do they want to talk about it? Gauge their responses before going forward. You don’t need to know the specifics of the divorce, but focus on the friend and make sure they are feeling good about what is happening.

Offer Your Time

After a divorce, the best thing you can do is just show up or extend invitations. Instead of giving advice, give your time. Ask your friend to stop by and hang out. Go grab lunch or dinner. Meet at a coffee shop. Your divorced friend may just need a distraction or something to do. Be available to spend time with them in some capacity.

The goal is to be proactive. Don’t be vague and say something like “let’s hang out sometime.” Make concrete plans. It doesn’t have to be a major event. Your presence and support is more important than the actual activity.

Help Make Connections

Help your friend in terms of social support, if you have a lot of knowledge or resources. After a divorce, there are a lot of logistics to deal with. Your friend may need to move. Do you know a good moving company? If so, connect them. Maybe your friend needs help with finances. Point them in the direction of a financial adviser. This is also a good opportunity to introduce your friend to other divorced people you may know, especially if they are thriving after divorce. This can give your friend hope for the future.

Help Your Friend Rediscover Their Identity

Married people may not have their own identity. They get so caught up in their marriage that they become like their spouse. After a divorce, your friend may struggle with who they really are. Try to help them rediscover their identity. Do new things together. Go on a weekend getaway. Meet new people. Your friend will learn to feel empowered and possibly even discover new things about themselves.

Seek Legal Help

Going through a divorce is not an easy time. Try to support your friend the best you can.

Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can help with the divorce process, both during and after. Fill out the online form or call 954-764-4330 to schedule a consultation.

Source:

thecut.com/article/how-to-help-your-friend-through-divorce.html