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What Not to Text Your Ex During a Divorce


When you were happily married to your spouse, you may have exchanged witty texts, inside jokes, funny GIFs, and maybe even sultry sexts. Now that you are divorcing, these casual and fun communications will likely go by the wayside.

Divorce changes pretty much everything, and texting is no exception. Communication during a divorce is a special skill. It’s good to negotiate and compromise, but you need to be very careful about what you text, email, or send in a written letter. Communications are highly scrutinized during a divorce. Your ex and their lawyer are looking for every little thing they can use against you.

Indeed, texts are a treasure trove for lawyers. When communicating with your ex during the divorce process, you have to consider that the judge will likely read them and possibly even during a court trial.

It’s hard to gauge emotions in a text, so messages are likely to be misconstrued. Here are some texts you should avoid sending until your divorce has been finalized.

This is Your Fault

This is not the time to play the blame game. Your ex does not want to be blamed for the divorce. You need to avoid negative language that can lead to conflicts.

You’re a Bad Parent

Again, nobody wants to hear negative comments, especially during a divorce. No matter how angry you may be at your ex, calling them names and saying negative things isn’t going to change their behavior.

The Kids Agree With Me

Leave the children out of the divorce. Pitting yourself and the kids against the other parent is immature. It also sets a bad example, forcing the kids to take sides. You and your ex are parents and adults at that, so act like it.

You Must/Need to Do X

You shouldn’t be ordering your ex around, plus you’re the last person they want to be taking orders from. If you need something from them, ask them nicely. Use phrases such as “could you help me with” or “is it possible for you to.”

You Better Do This or Else

Threats won’t go over well in court. They show that you are very angry and they make the other party angry as well. The judge will look at threats negatively if they think you will follow through.

Take what you want, I don’t care

This phrase may show that you have given up, but it will hurt you from a legal standpoint. If your ex is fighting you every step of the way, you may be exhausted. However, you can’t give in. If you let your ex have it all, this will make your new life difficult. Fight for your legal rights. Ask your lawyer to step in and help.

Seek Legal Help

Texting is supposed to be fun, but you need to be careful of what you say during a divorce. Written communication is often misconstrued, so the less you say, the better.

Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can guide you through your divorce with ease and help you avoid common mistakes. Schedule a consultation by filling out the online form or calling 954-764-4330.



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