When You’re Raising Your Partner
You’re a caring and compassionate person. You like to help people, so you didn’t mind picking up after your partner when you were dating. You enjoyed cooking their meals and helping them with everyday life.
Fast forward to life today. You’re married with two children, but on most days, it feels like you’re a single parent of three kids. Your spouse acts like they can barely function. They go to work and that’s it. They expect you to do everything else. They can’t even clean up after themselves. They keep saying they’ll do things, but never do. They’re always procrastinating, leaving you to pick up the slack. They act like they don’t have any responsibilities, not a care in the world.
Sound familiar? If so, then you may be raising your partner. This happens in a lot of relationships, with the woman typically the one raising their partner. But how does this happen? Maybe you saw this same scenario with your parents. Maybe your well-intentioned friends gave you advice about taking care of your man. Maybe this is your first real relationship and you just thought this is how things are supposed to be.
If you’re raising your partner – stop. That’s not a real relationship. In a relationship, you two are supposed to be equals. Raising your partner can affect your relationship in many ways. It can affect your sex life because who wants to get intimate with someone who acts like a child? Acting like a parent to your partner can also lead to relationship burnout, so nip this behavior in the bud right away or move on.
What Are the Signs?
Here are some signs that you’re dating or married to a man child.
- You make all the plans. In a relationship, planning should be 50/50. If you’re having to plan and initiate everything, that takes a lot of energy.
- He’s disorganized. An adult should know how to clean and organize a house. They should be able to keep a schedule. If your partner is constantly leaving messes and creating clutter, you need to speak up.
- He’s always procrastinating. Yeah, adulthood is hard and there are a lot of things we don’t want to do. But your partner shouldn’t be putting off everyday activities like cooking dinner or paying bills.
- You have to financially support him. If your partner is a stay-at-home dad while you work, then that’s one thing. But if your partner refuses to get a job out of pure laziness, then it’s time to reconsider your relationship.
Seek Legal Help
Many people in relationships eventually find out that they’re doing all the work. If you’re treating your spouse more like a child than an equal, then it’s time to end the marriage and find a better match.