Why Forgiveness Is Important In A Marriage
As humans, we make mistakes. We’re not perfect. When mistakes happen in a marriage, we often expect that our spouses will forgive us. In many cases, they do. But if your spouse makes a terrible mistake that deeply hurts, like abuse or infidelity, then you may not want to forgive them.
In many cases, though, forgiveness is the key to saving your marriage. When you can acknowledge that your spouse has faults and you can move on from them, it can help build a strong, healthy marriage.
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness means letting go of a situation in which someone has hurt you. It is a conscious decision that involves not just letting go of the action against you, but also letting go of any resentment, anger, and any other negative feelings. Essentially, in order to forgive the person, you have to act as if the wrongdoing never happened in the first place.
Forgiveness is a process. The steps you will take will depend on the situation. For some things, you might be able to forgive quickly. Others are a lot more serious and may involve a discussion. You may need to seek therapy or have ongoing conversations about what happened. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that you 100% forget everything. You and your spouse must come to an understanding that what happened was wrong and you will move past it together.
How to Forgive
So how exactly do you forgive someone? What are the steps you need to take? Forgiveness is easier said than done. There are four steps you should take:
- Understand your end goal. You should try to come to a compromise with your partner. Find out what your end goal will be so you can get as close to that goal as possible.
- Let the grudges go. Pick your battles. Some fights just aren’t worth it. Even if you and your spouse disagree on something, just let it go if it’s not important. This will help maintain your relationship.
- Be more loving. It’s easy to be cruel when you get into a fight. There’s that voice in our heads that tells us to do the most damage possible to our partner. Even if your spouse hurts you, you need to remember that you love them and want what’s best for them.
- Think about your relationship baggage. Your relationship history and fears of intimacy are things that you bring into your marriage. You need to contend with these dynamics and think about how they influence the way you argue and forgive. This will help you understand your motivations so you can do better in the future.
Seek Legal Help
If you are considering a divorce, you may be able to save your marriage through forgiveness. You need to accept that everyone makes mistakes, although some mistakes may be deal breakers that ultimately ruin the marriage for good.
Forgiveness can only help so much. Ready to divorce? Discuss your situation with Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. We understand that the process can be complex. To schedule a consultation, fill out the online form or call 954-764-4330.