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Why Staying Together for the Kids May Not Be the Best Idea


All good parents think about how something will affect their kids. Divorce is no exception. Divorce is a major event that can affect everyone involved for a long time.

It’s hard enough for the spouses to move on. What about the kids? Will a divorce cause them significant damage and harm them for life?

In the past, couples were advised to stay together for the kids, but that advice may be outdated. Keeping a family together under one roof when there is so much conflict involved is not good for the children. When parents are constantly stressed out, kids pick up on this negativity and become stressed out as well. Children end up measuring the conflict and stress in the household and their behavior tends to reflect what they experience.

Children often do much better when their parents are happy and doing well. Sometimes this happiness means ending the marriage. While transitioning from one household to two can be stressful on children and require a transition period, children benefit in the long run when their relationships with their parents improve over time due to reduced conflict. Here are some of the effects of an unhappy marriage on children.

 The Effects of Conflict on Children

Children who experience constant conflict are impacted negatively. As they grow up, they may lack role models for healthy relationships, since they constantly see their parents arguing. If the conflict is particularly volatile, children may not learn how to respect others. Children often find it difficult to trust others or develop positive relationships as adults.

When parents create chronic conflict, children absorb all this negative energy and may feel pressured to take sides. They often must deal with adult problems they shouldn’t be exposed to.

When parents end marriages that are unhealthy or toxic, they show their children that everyone deserves to be in happy and healthy relationships. This can help children learn to make good choices.

There are three main factors that determine how well children will adjust to divorce:

  1. The quality of the relationship the children have with each parent before divorce
  2. The length of time the chronic conflict has occurred
  3. The parents to making the needs of their children a priority during the divorce

Divorce can be positive for children. Children often become more resilient and adaptable as they deal with change. Some become more self-sufficient as both parents now need to work to pay for expenses. Children of divorce are more likely to have increased empathy for others as they help friends and loved ones handle problems.

Seek Legal Help

In the past, it was always advised that parents stay together for the kids, no matter how bad the marriage may be. However, a divorce may be better than dealing with chronic conflict.

Should you stay or should you go? Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can provide you with the advice you need if you are considering a divorce with children. To schedule a consultation, fill out the online form or call 954-764-4330.



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