Guidelines For Dating After Divorce
You just filed for divorce. You’ve been tired of your marriage for a while and you’re ready to move on. You’re interested in a new relationship. Is it a good idea to start dating right away?
Experts say no. While you may think you’re ready to start dating, it’s best to wait until your divorce is final. You need some time and space to reflect on what went wrong in your marriage. Plus, dating during the divorce may not bode well for you, as it could cause your spouse to accuse you of cheating. This could actually affect the outcome of your divorce in terms of property division and child custody.
So if you want to date again, you should wait a bit. Experts say one year after your divorce is finalized is a good rule of thumb. Here are some other guidelines you should follow.
Determine Why You Want to Date
You shouldn’t want to start dating simply because you’re lonely and hurt by your divorce. You should date because you want to, not because you need to. Date because you want to feel the emotions involved with the dating process. Dating is not easy; it requires you to be vulnerable and able to tolerate uncertainty.
Set Reasonable Expectations
Don’t go into your date thinking you’re going to meet your soulmate. Instead, focus on getting to know the person and having fun. A lot of first relationships after a divorce are rebounds. It may take some time to find The One — if that’s what you’re looking for. You don’t have to date with the goal of getting married. Just focus on the present.
Figure Out Your Priorities
You’re not going to be attracted to everyone. What are you looking for in a romantic partner? What are your values? What are your deal breakers? Think about these questions before you start dating so you’re not wasting your time.
Don’t start off a relationship with lies — that’s just asking for trouble. Instead, be honest about everything. Don’t say you’ve never been married and have no children if you in fact are divorced with three kids. Don’t lie about your interests or values either. You should be able to be yourself.
Trust Your Gut
Dating is like a job interview. You are essentially “interviewing” someone for the job of being your partner. If you have a bad feeling about someone, move on. Don’t be afraid to end a date if something does not feel right. Trust yourself.
Seek Legal Help
An advantage of a divorce is that you get to date around, but are you ready for all the emotions involved? Should you wait?
A Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can help you transition from married life to single life. There are a lot of opportunities for you once you get divorced, including new relationships. To schedule a consultation, call our office at 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form.