Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Children During a Divorce
Divorce can be a complicated process, especially if children are involved. An angry parent can say the wrong thing to their children and cause emotional trauma that lasts many years. Children tend to think the divorce was their fault or they may believe that their mother or father is a bad person who doesn’t love them anymore.
As a parent, not only do you have to deal with the anger, fear and hurt that comes with a divorce, but you also have to be a good parent during the whole process. This can be quite the challenge, but you can do it. Here are some things you shouldn’t say to your children during a divorce.
It’s Not Your Fault
This statement may seem innocent enough and it’s true—it’s not your child’s fault you’re getting a divorce. You and the other parent simply cannot get along anymore. However, by simply mentioning the word “fault,” you’re planting seeds into the head of a confused child. They will think they contributed to the split in some way, so don’t even mention it. You can explain to your child in a simple manner—that’s age appropriate—but don’t delve too much into it. Get help, if needed, from a therapist.
We’d Have More Money if it Weren’t For Your Mom/Dad
Again, avoid playing the blame game. Children tend to blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, so by making this statement, you are making him or her feel guilty for your money woes. Don’t bring up finances in front of the kids. This can make them feel insecure and they may even feel like they are a burden.
Don’t Listen to Your Mom/Dad
You may be angry at your spouse, but don’t get your child involved in your feelings. Kids should have consistency, which means they should listen to both parents. Don’t make them choose one over the other. You and the other parent should be on the same page when it comes to rules and punishment.
Mom/Dad No Longer Loves Us
You may be angry over your divorce, but don’t lie to your children. You need to show your kids that both parents love them unconditionally, even if they can’t live in the same household anymore. Don’t make up things to get your child to love you more. This just causes more tension and pain in an already devastating situation.
Seek Legal Help
Divorce can bring about negative emotions, but you need to control your feelings when you’re around your kids. Children tend to pick up on things and you don’t want to cause emotional damage to your kids. Many children still deal with the trauma of their parents’ divorce years later.
If you are considering divorce and children are involved, make sure you deal with the situation amicably. Fort Lauderdale divorce attorney Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can give you the advice you need. He can guide you post-divorce matters as well to help you move on. Schedule a consultation today. Call 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form.